Sports Gambling Puns
Weather we’re winning or losing, we all have some anecdotes or funny gambling stories to share. This time around, we’ve decided to look for the most hilarious gambling jokes and casino puns, so these are the best gambling anecdotes that we’ve come across. Note: In case it’s not obvious by now, this article is about American football puns. If you’re more interested in what most of the world calls football (aka soccer), reading these puns probably isn’t your goal. Gameday Captions and Messages. Here are some football-related puns you can send from the game, or while watching the game on TV. While the socially responsible response to a bad pun is to pretend like it never happened, I decided to lean into this one a bit. Shortly after receiving the mis-branded shirt, I taught a training class to Grant Thornton’s new hires in an affluent suburb of Chicago (I could tell it was affluent because when I went there for training years before every house had a Mitt Romney sign in front of. A collection of short, funny jokes related to Gambling and Casinos!” Quick, Funny Jokes! Gambling, Casino Jokes Jokes on our Main.
The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump highest. I like a gambol.
Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.
How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.
I’m going to an Abba themed poker night. The winner takes it all.
Lost money betting with with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.
Did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.
I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere near.
I took a gamble and bought a small boat without seeing it first. It was a punt.
I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.
I bet on a horse at 10-1. It didn’t come in until half past three.
Walking down the road earlier and I tripped over a sign from the local betting shop. What are the odds on that?
A friend of mine keeps insisting on skipping through flower meadows. I think he has a gamboling problem.
Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.
Last week’s snooker jokes are here.
If you like these gambling jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
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They told me “you gotta know how to hold em, and how to fold em.”
🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️Dad out.
... why do they call it para-dice?
I bet them I could go longer than them without gambling.
'Did you win?' he asked.
'Of course not,' I replied. 'We didn't even run.'
you poker
this is because its clearly nacho lucky day if you lost that much
'You're no better yourself!' he snapped.
I said, 'Exactly. That's why I don't encourage it.'
High steaks
Too many damn cheetahs.
Me: How did you like Atlantic City?
Dad: It was great! I came home with a small fortune!
Me: Wow! How did you manage that?
Dad: Well, I left home with a large fortune.
My friend was just about done gambling and he said this.
Friend: well I guess I'm done.Dealer: alright I can color you up if you want.friend gives the dealer his chipsFriend: I'm going to need what Obama promised us Americans?Dealer: what?Friend:'change'Dealer:....
Sports Gambling Picks
Our other friend started laughing too hard and had to leave the area.
Because there are too many cheetahs.
(got this from my dad, in a chain email no less.)
Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks!
Sports Gambling Puns Jokes
Too many Cheetahs!
Sports Gambling Pros
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